Well! The last few days have been interesting to say the least! The out pouring of acceptance and love, yes love, from you my fellow bloggers was overwhelming to me. To say only thank you seems so very weak in response to your love, but can not find any other words that come close to expressing my feelings for you. So, until such a time as I can come up with better words for this emotion in my heart and mind, know that I am saying it with the deepest regard and friendship.
So, now on to straighten out some misconceptions that seem to be floating in the air. Yesterday, I spent more hours than I ever had before chatting, mostly answering the same questions from everyone. So, for those of you who read me, and do not chat with me, I'll answer the most common questions here for you.
1) Do you want a sex change operation?
No, I do not. I am transgender, not transsexual. The easiest way to describe this is thus. Sex, is about what is between your legs, gender is what is between your ears. The definition of a transsexual is a condition in which an individual identifies with a physical sex that is different from their biological one. And for the most part, I have been ok with my body, not a perfect harmony, but not ever unhappy with my physical sex. The times I am happiest with my body is when I am just me. Not having to fit some sort of cookie cutter female mold. But allowed to dress as I wish, act as I wish.
2) Do you want to live as a man?
No, I do not. If I was to live wholly as a man, then that would make me unhappy. I am both male and female genders, and they both want to be expressed. My male side is more pronounced, but I am a female also. The reason it pinches so to identify as a female/woman is that it's not really how I feel about me. If I had to identify as a male/man, it would feel as wrong.
3) Do you want to have sex with women, or threesomes?
Absolutely not! Well, ok a threesome? Sure, but only with two guys.... ;-p My sexual orientation is straight. I have no interest whatsoever in sex with women at all.
4) Do I want to look like a man?
No, no I don't. But am I comfortable in extremely frilly feminine clothing? No, I'm not. I do wear dresses and such, when the occasion demands it. But it feels like a costume, and it takes me quite a while to ignore what I have on, and relax enough to enjoy the occasion. And if I go shopping with other women they are forever forcing me into clothing that I am just not comfortable in. Sometimes, I am a doormat enough to buy what they are pushing me into. Rarely if ever do these clothes get worn.....
5) Do I like anything that is considered girly?
Yup! I have a huge, and I do mean huge, thing for Hello Kitty!! OMG! She is so cute!! Yes, I know she is pink, but cute!!! Kawaii!!!!!! I love bracelets of all kinds! Especially the thin metal type, I love the tinkling sound they make when I move my arms. Earrings are also something I love. However, I don't like the large, showy chandelier type. I do wear dangling ones, but they are fairly plain, and not showy. So, I do like girly stuff, just on a much more muted level than many girls. And for the most part can live without it, if I had to.
6) Do I do anything that is feminine?
Yeah, I do. I love to knit! So, much fun! I like to sew and embroiderer, and a few years ago learned to crochet. I only really play girly type of games on my DS and my game cube. But, rather than it being a function of femininity, it is rather more of a inability of mine, to enjoy killing things.... which most male games seem to be based on. Is my issue with killing things a gender thing for me? No, it is a byproduct of my abuse as a child. It has left me almost unable to hurt others, even with speech. The only times that I have hurt someone, is when they have hurt my boys. Because no one hurts my babies!
So, whew! I think that answers most of the questions that I have been asked. If you think of any others that you would like answered, just let me know. And if you want to chat with me to ask me more, please feel free to do so. My addy is in the side bar over there --->
And now on to the cookies!
These are the best peanut butter cookies ever!!! Why? Because they taste like peanut butter! No, I didn't forget the flour, these are flourless cookies.
1 cup smooth peanut butter, 1 cup sugar, 1 egg, 1 teaspoon vanilla.
Preheat oven the 375. Mix all together in a bowl. On a small saucer pour a small amount of sugar. Roll the dough into smallish balls. Roll really well, to make sure the cookies hold together after baking. Roll them around in the sugar from your saucer, place on an ungreased cookie sheet. Lightly flatten with a bottom of a flat glass. Bake for about 11 minutes. The tops of the cookies should be lightly cracked, and the edges are a slightly different color. Cool for a few minutes on the cookie sheet before moving them to a cooling rack. Enjoy!