Cliff notes

Sunday I met up with the LBGTQ group that I've joined for a lunch and a movie.  Out of the 5 people who showed up, I only knew one of them,.....lets call her Annie.  We went around the table giving a thumbnail sketch of ourselves, I was the only trans person present everyone else is lesbian. 

The topic shifted to our pets and other things, when one of the ladies asked me, "How long ago did you transition?"  I then went thru my whole story, and they seemed the same toward me as before, which was nice!  The restaurant we went to had an actual gluten free section of the menu!  I had gluten free pasta and meat sauce, it was nice to be able to order from the menu, only making one change, no cheese.

After a nice lunch and a long chat, we walked to the theater, and after standing about debating the merits of one film over another, Annie suddenly said, "They have Jurassic Park in 3-D!!!"  And that's what we all went to see.  I'd forgotten over the millennium since it first came out how fun of a movie it was.

Monday morning Marlene texted me wanting to know if I was up for lunch and some shopping.  She dropped by to pick me up after her shift at the library ended and off we went to lunch, food wise wasnt nearly as successful as Sunday's was.  Anyway, we were shopping, she needs new clothing for work, when she asked me what I did this weekend.  In a very off hand manner, I mentioned lunch and a movie with a meet up group.  A while later, I could tell she had been thinking on this, she asked me who I went with.  In a very, I hope, casual manner I told her its an LBGTQ group.  Oh, she said.   Later she told me that one of her very best friends for a very long time is a lesbian.

So, Marlene thinks I'm lesbian, I'm ok with that, sorta, its not the truth about me but at least its a place to start.  The next time we are together, if it seems like the right time, I'm coming out to her.  I'm tired of hiding who I am.  The one really wonderful thing about living a zillion miles from home is I can be me, and not have to worry about it getting back to someone I dont want to know, yet.

Yes, I said yet.  I'm at the end of the hiding.  At this point in time the way I feel is if they cant accept me for who I am, fuck em.  Just straight up fuck em.  What brought along this change of heart?  This is going to sound like an odd catalysis but whatever.  The library has decided that a nice way to honor their volunteers hard work is for us to each pick a book that is important to us, and they attach the book plate to it, which has our name and that we are a volunteer.  Later that night, I realized that the only books I was researching was LGBT books.  That's when it hit me, I'm tired of not being me, of waffling around when I'm asked why I dont carry purses, wear makeup, or dresses, heels or why I've never painted my toe nails.  I'm just going to tell them, its because I'm a guy, and guys typically dont do those things. 

The book I finally picked, "The Pink Triangle; The Nazi War Against Homosexuals" by Richard Plant.  It combines my love of history, my trying to unravel the why of the holocaust, and that I too am a gay man.

Driving on Antigua

While Antigua is filled with lovely beaches, soft ocean breezes and lovely friendly people, it does have one large, glaring mark in the unpleasant column, the roads.  They are very narrow without benefit of shoulders nor center line markings, add to this for the American of driving not only on the wrong side of the road, but the wrong side of the car!

There was no way at all that I was going to drive, none, nada, zip!  TH got into the car with a bit of worry but confident that he could do this, as he drives on the right at work, abet with the workings on the "correct" side of the truck.  Our delightful taxi driver the previous day gave us a hint about how to navigate the traffic circles, she said, "If you keep the drivers door against the inside of the donut, you'll do fine!"  Later on that hint was helpful as the desire to turn the usual way was quite strong.

Within a few miles we found a giant flaw in our map.  Here look at the map a moment and then I'll continue on.

See all the delightful road names?  Ahh yes, well the funny thing is while they are named on maps, they AREN'T labeled in reality!!  No, really.  For some odd reason, the only roads with street signs were small residential roads, which when trying to get across the island shockingly enough, isn't all that much help!

At one point we decided to turn around and head back to a gas station hoping the other turn would prove more fruitful.  We turned off the "main" road onto a street lined with houses, and turned again onto an even smaller road to find a quiet place to turn about.  When we turned onto this small quiet road, a man was digging about in his fan and he looked up, saw us and his face split with a wide grin.  He came up to the car and said, "Ya lost man?  Where you be headed?"  We told him Jolly Harbor and he laughed like crazy, "You be way off your route!  Here follow me and I'll get you back on the right track!"  He waves his arm, jumps in his van and takes off.  We follow him thru several turnings and then he pulls over, waves us up even with him and tells us to, "Stick tight to this road and you'll be ok!"  We thanked him and after a little bit the road sorta kinda maybe-ish bent into 3.....  We didnt find Jolly Harbor itself, but did find a great place for lunchies!

The waiter kinda bothered TH, sorta.  S/He was tall and thin, and very very pretty, with large earrings, false eyelashes and drawn on eyebrows, long hair finely braided and done up in a bun sorta affair.  I'm not sure if waiter was trans, gay, dressed for a later gig at a drag show.  Whatever, waiter couldn't have been sweeter and more helpful.  The funny thing about this restaurant is there is one, count em one menu.  Written out on a large blackboard they have to carry around and prop next to the table.  With full tummies, and a revived but misguided sense of optimism we headed back out to the wild roads.

People park just willy nilly along these narrow roads, making them even more tricky to navigate.  In a particularly narrow portion of some road, there were cars and pick up trucks and a large truck parked alongside of both lanes of this road.  Making an already narrow road, nearly impossible.  Now people will stop for you, and when they do, they flash their lights, telling you 'tis ok to go.  We were behind the parked delivery truck and were awaiting our turn to go, and TH saw his moment, and started to creep forward, slowly, slowly, slowly and then he gunned it! 

                                                      CRASH ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Our mirror didn't make it around the truck. 

TH was horrified that he had damaged the rental car in only about 20 minutes worth of driving.  We continued on, he was worried that he would get arrested, but was worried about calling the police.  After about fifteen pull off to the side of the road to look at said cartoon map, we finally figured out that all of the important crossings have gas stations on them, and are duly marked upon the map that we finally managed to find our way to Nonsuch Bay Resort.

After my trip to the hospital TH had to return to pay the bill as their system was down and couldnt take any form of payment.  The taxi driver as she pulled passed our car asked if that was our car.  TH sighed and agreed as how it was, causing her to laugh like silly.  Turns out her cousin was sitting on the porch of one of the houses there and saw the whole thing happen.  Small island, yeah?

Armed with a sense of how to read the map, and with firm instructions from the taxi driver who took TH to pay the hospital bill, we found the airport without any wrong turns, raised blood pressure, nor leaving any of the cars bits and bobs along the road.  When we return we are bringing Martha (my GPS wife) with us, hopefully she will work a treat there!

Luckily the price of the mirror wasn't outrageous, only $375.00 USD, or $1,012.50 EC.   The lady at the car rental place acted as if it were no biggie, and we were in and out of there in quick quick time.



                            

18° 0' 0" N / 61° 54' 0" W

Location: Antigua

We spent one night at Trade Winds Hotel.  This hotel is laid back and very rustic, it reminded me of the old fashioned road side hotels back in the day of two lane highway travel.  The food was amazing, the employees were warm and helpful and made us feel right at home.

Then we moved about a mile down the road to Grande Antigua Resort.   The beach was fantastic, as you have seen.  Miles of the softest sand I've ever stepped upon.  All of the employees were fantastic, super friendly and welcoming.  Due to all of my food allergies, I was having some issue finding food that was safe for me to eat.  One of the front desk ladies overheard me and made me an appointment with the chief at the OK Corral.  He wrote down everything that I'm allergic to and then made me a special meal!  It was the best meal I've had, maybe ever had!  The next night we ate at Kimono's and they cooked my salmon and beef before the chicken and shrimp!  Talk about service, wow.

However.....it felt as if we were on a cruise ship.  The minute we stepped foot on Sandals it no longer felt like we were on Antigua.  The resort is beautiful, well maintained, the food was good, but it felt removed from reality in some way.

We are currently at Nonsuch Bay Resort.  It's quite remote, after leaving Freetown its about 5 miles down a gravel road.  There is little to do here, so the relaxation factor is extreme.  We had hoped to do zipline (TH only) and then a snorkel/kayak trip, both of which were canceled due to my allergy episode that is still kicking my butt.

We love this island, love it!  Friday is coming way to soon for both of us.

wherein biki's day takes an unexpected turn

Last night at supper, we decided to split an order of mussels.  When they came, starvation caused me to dig right in, but after eating two of them, the sauce gave me pause for thought.  I thought the sauce had creme in it, turns out it did, so hubby sat there an was powering thru them, when my lips started to tingle, and then my tongue, and suddenly my throat had a huge lump that made swallowing nearly impossible. 

TH ran back to the room for benadryl, and i ordered coffee, but the swelling continued, and soon it was if I were massively drunk.  A very worried TH, went to talk to the lady at the front desk who told them the fastest way to the hospital was in a taxi. A taxi was called for, and after a 40 minute ride, we arrived at the hospital.  By then the benadryl had started to work, and they gave me a giant shot of hydrocortisone, and just like a Christmas miracle, in about 10 minutes I could breath again. 10 minutes after that I could open both my eyes completely.

I'm worn out, and feel as though I were in a fight, but ok.  This totally trashes the two events we had scheduled for today and tomorrow.  Today's because TH wont leave my side, and tomorrow due to the physicalness of the outing looks to be a wash as well.  Oh, well still tis paradise here.

 

Another day in paradise

 This gazebo was where youngest and his bride were married.  Their wedding was lovely, simple and tearful.  Her sister's husband died last summer in a horrific car crash, and when the officiant said the words, "to death do you part" she lost it.  She stood there bravely, with tears streaming down her face, not a sound left her lips, what a stalwart girl.

 

don't ya worry, i'll let ya know where i be, but just not yet!

Biki in Paradise

Pizza + Fiber = A Happy Man

Life since the doctor discovered my many food allergies has been eye opening in many ways.  I've realized that I've been sick my entire life.  Life before the diagnosis I would drag my carcass thru the day and every day was an effort.  Now?  I dart about hither and yon, my mind is constantly questing for more input, after a 4 hour shift at the library where I dont sit the entire time and am a blur of activity, I'm still full of energy.  Totally amazing to be this way.

There has been impressive weight loss as well, from where 12's were tight-ish to wearing size 8!  Well, not in Lucky jeans, but they run mega small... even in them I'm wearing a 10.  So, yeah. amazing.  When I get back from the wedding trip, I need to buy some new jeans.  All I have that fits are capri shorts.  lol lol to call them "shorts" is an oxymoron, as they come nearly to my ankles.

While I have been tempted to cheat and eat foods I know will make me sick, I have been the model patient and havent cheated once.  However, I dream of pizza....lordy do I miss pizza....wow...yeah.  Many of the local pizza places have gluten free crusts, Score!  Pizza is still out of reach tho due to cheese, sigh.  Two days ago, I was tormenting myself by visiting my favorite pizza restaurant's website, and nearly dropped my lap top, they have vegan cheese!!!  Whoo-hoooooooooo!  Yesterday that was my main bullet point on my to-do list.  I go in, check the menu, yup yup they have gluten free, dairy free.   At that point I'm minutes from having pizza again, and am praying ever so fervently for the pizza to taste like pizza!

The pizza came and smelled heavenly, looked terrific and tasted WONDERFUL!  Bite after fantastic bite, bite, bite, bite....Wow!  I took the rest home for supper.  Interestingly enough I didnt feel heavy and bloated and sleepy like I used to be after eating pizza, that in itself was an eye opener.

I started the youngest's wife-to-be a sweater back at the start of December, but finally finished!  This has been the longest knit, ever!  The pattern was tricky, and if I was tired it was impossible to knit as I really needed pay attention close attention to where I was in the pattern repeat.  For the most part I couldnt watch tv while knitting either, it was just that difficult.  Its in my suit case ready for the Wedding Trip, where I'll give it to her.  Lordy I hope it fits and she likes it.....!!!  I'm not the best knit wear photographer, so my snaps arent all the good, but at least you can have an idea what it looks like.  The sweater is a deep black, but the light from the window really washed it out.  Without the sunlight I couldnt get the stitch pattern to show up nicely. 

When Its Spring Time In Alaska

TH wanted a new camera for his b'day, as his old one had died a horrid chip death.  So, he was out and about yesterday learning the tricks of his new camera and snapped these.

This is typical "spring" weather for April.  Today it is -10 and snowing like crazy, over an inch already and still coming down.

If your interested in a web cam in downtown Fairbanks, visit here..... arctic cam.

Meanwhile in Arizona, I sat out on my porch and finished the sweater I've been knitting for the daughter-in-law to be, it was 81 and pleasant as as can be.  Walked to the grocery store and when I came home my two mallard buddies were playing in the pond.  Yeah, I know there is only one in the photo, the other one is swimming in the larger part of the pond.

When I first came to Alaska Johnny Horton was da' man! in interior Alaska.  TH used to sing me this song all the time, and it always makes me smile....now it just makes me miss him.

The pictures on the video are all the extreme north and upper northwest of Alaska.

Roe v Wade, DOMA and You

The North Dakota legislature just passed a personhood bill it now heads to the voters.  If the voters pass this law it will effectively outlaw abortion in North Dakota.  This gives an unborn fetus the status of a citizen.  This is the version the North Dakota Legislature just passed.

Provide equality and rights to all human beings at every stage of biological development.

This law could have some unforeseen effects that could play in our advantage.  I see the words, "Provide equality and rights to all human beings..." and I think that if this law is voted into their constitution it could in theory give all LGBTQI folks equal marriage within North Dakota. 

Forty years ago Roe v Wade made abortions legal in our country, and since that glorious day, the anti-abortionist have been whittling away at the rights to have an abortion with nonsensical laws and rulings.  While 68% of Americans are for allowing abortions, the antis are in full steam making it nearly impossible in many states to find a doctor, or a Planned Parenthood Clinic that will provide this service.  Here is a good link that talks about this. 

Now, I bet y'all are sitting there wondering why I'm talking about personhood bills and run arounds to Roe v Wade.  What I fear will happen is that the moment DOMA is struck down, the attacks on equal marriage will commence.  That states with legislatures stuffed with the GOP will find a loophole, a work around that will restrict either equal marriages, or access to benefits that opposite sex marriages are entitled to. 

I think the first court case out of the box in many states, will be the religious angle of not wanting to provide health care, death benefits, etc to same sex partners, just like they are attempting to opt out providing birth control under the Affordable Health Care Act, due to "religious reasons".


In states where anti-discrimination laws haven't passed, LGBTQI will suffer discrimination when trying to access rights granted by the federal government for all legally married couples, and only win their legal rights thru long drawn out court cases.  The courts are going to be stuffed full of court cases trying to wrestle rights given to us by the feds, and taken away by the states.

The blue print to fight against equal marriage is in place, they only have to implement it.  Unless the justices word their ruling against DOMA very narrowly we could be in for a very very long fight.  By allowing the states input into abortion they handed the religious right a law that is as permeable as cheese cloth. 

Easter Memories

Easter in Alaska looks like this.....

Hiding eggs outside isn't a good idea.  Small people bundled up in their snow gear, holding baskets in one hand and attempting to pick up eggs with a small hand encased in slick-ery mittens usually leads to tears and a grumpy family.  TH would distract the boys with something, so I could hide the eggs in the house.  Then he would look out the window casually, then leap up and shout, "There goes the Easter Bunny!"  The kids would storm to the window only to be disappointed that yet again they missed seeing him.

Third son was looking quite thoughtfully at his jelly beans, giving them a very cautious poke with one finger, he must have been around 4-ish.  After being hunkered for quite a long while, he finally gave up puzzling it out on his own and asked, "What kind of poop is this?"

jelly beans

moose poop
 



Causing the eldest to shout, "It's EASTER BUNNY POOP!!!!" 

"Oh!" said third son, who began to dig right into his jelly beans.

Wedding Blues

Yes, once again I'll be doing drag for a son's wedding.  Originally I had been told that a dressy pants outfit would be fine, only to be told a few weeks ago that I will be wearing a dress. 

In fuchsia no less.  Luckily that is a not to be found color outside of bridal shops.  I bought a blush pink dress, ala mad men styling, simple no frills.


Still up for debate is if I'm going to even bother to pack the dress and shoes, or just leave it behind at the resort.


Furious about being lied to about not having to wear a dress I wanted to buy boots to "liven" up the look.

Sigh, but then I came to my senses, and realized just how much it would upset my son, and resisted.  I love my son and wouldn't want to hurt him on his wedding day. 

Luckily, he is the last of the boys to marry, and this should be the last time I'm required to dress in drag for them.

When told about the change in my wardrobe, TH got very quiet and said, "I'm really sorry dear.  He doesn't understand how this hurts you." 

In a flash of anger, I thought, "Yeah, whose fault is it he doesnt know?  YOURS!"    But in my calmer moments I know he is only trying to protect me.  As time ticks by, I honestly feel that the boys would be ok with me as a trans person, and still sure that their wives wouldnt be. 

I will dress as directed, and enjoy being with my son on his big day. Hold tight to TH and hope for a tomorrow where I can finally be honest with my sons, and still keep them in my life.

...a zillion years ago, on a far off planet

.....a zillion years ago, on a far off planet, Indiana, I was attending college.  Yes, Virgil they did have colleges in that far distant time, now where was I?  Oh yeah......so, I was friendly with this girl whose brother was coming to visit her.  Now, I had no interest in meeting said brother as I was dating a guy, a professor to be exact, when she asked me she wouldnt take no for an answer.  To shut her up, I finally agreed to meet him when he arrived.  I figured what the hell, I'll just make myself scarce for a few days, and then act all sad that I "missed" him.  Well the joke was on me, he came early on a Friday morning.  I didnt have a class on Friday and usually slept until lunch time, storing up so as to party later, yeah?  She came barging into my room and woke me up, and when I resisted getting up, she ripped the covers off me, and about died of mortification as I was starkers.  Quickly flinging the covers back on me she zinged me with the arrow, "you promised!".  Sigh.  Telling her to leave so I could get dressed she left the room, and leaned on my door!  This girl has some trust issues!

The main reason I wasnt better friends with this girl is that she was hyper religious, and I've never been accused of being so, I had it in my mind that if she was that religious her entire family must be as well and had no interest in yet another person attempting to save my soul.  I wasn't dressing to impress, and so I pulled on stuff I snagged from the floor.  Looking at the extreme bedhead, my hair wont comb out in the morning it has to be washed to behave, I jammed a cap on my head and pulled on a hoodie, stomped on a pair of beat up tennis shoes and brushed my teeth and called it good. 

I straggled behind the gaggle of girls she had lined up to meet her brother, and found a nice curb to sit on and a surprisingly comfy car to lean against, and was quickly drifting back to sleep when her voice thundered out, "HE'S HERE!!!!"  And jerked me to my feet, about ripping my arm from my socket.  I was rubbing my eyes when he parked the car and walked over to his sister, and gave her a huge hug.  He made some lame joke about why didn't she bring of any her friends so he could meet them.  She ran around like a 5 year old all wound out on sugar, introducing us one by one, and then she came to me. 

Truthfully, I hadnt really looked at him, I was just biding time until my warm and comfy bed could claim me again,  ahh sleep I hardly knew ye.....   When she introduced me, I looked up, and our eyes locked and

the

world

stood

S T I L L

no sound

no nothing

just him

and

me

suddenly, the world came rushing back, a congress of females all quacking, the breeze blew again, but still all I saw was

H I M 

himhimhimhimhimhimhimhimhimhimhimhimhimmmmmmmm

And just like that, we fell in love.  Yes, yes I know how could that be possible?  We hadnt spoke to each other, hadnt touched each other, but still after all these years, its the truest thing I know.

It took him 2 days to dredge up the courage to ask me out on a date.  And it wasnt until I was dropping from exhaustion at 3 am that I finally figured out why he wouldnt leave the lounge and kissed him. 

We couldnt stop kissing, kissing, kissing, kissing

A week later he asked me to marry him

3 months later we married

its been 35 years now

Saint Patrick's Day has always been our anniversary, others think I'm cracked, but really if we hadnt met, how could we have ever gotten married?  Honestly I do have trouble remembering the actual date of our wedding, and rarely remember that date, TH is the one to remind me.  But this is the day that gets the big celebration, this is the day that means the most to us.  Sadly we are apart on our big day.  Next year we will find some way to be together on our anniversary.

Of Tonka Trucks and Dolls

By this late date, everyone and their dog knows who wee sweet Coy Mathis is, and the struggle her family is in with their school board over allowing her to use the correct restroom at school.  I've been reading, reading, reading the comments posted after the stories, and it would be nice to say that I'm  surprised by the hate pouring out over this issue, sadly however there is no surprise at the depths of hate and ignorance on display.

Yes, I know for those lucky humans whose genitalia and gender match, transgender its a hard concept to grasp, adding to this swirl of confusion is Coy's age.  Unfortunately most humans dont remember being 6, and just how much children this age understand about themselves.  Stir into this mix ignorance of gestational science, and a forest fire erupts.  Building an entire new being from scratch isn't the easiest task, and it does go awry.  About 2,000 babies a year are born with indeterminate genitalia, until quite recently these children were operated on with days of their birth to "normalize" their genitalia, which is thankfully no longer the rule.  I have felt that being transgender/transsexual is a birth defect and should be added to the category intersex.  We aren't crazy and shouldn't be listed at all in the DSM, but should be listed in the medical manuals.

Here are a few of the comments that grabbed my attention....


This commenter wasn't being mean, simply does not understand what the family, nor the child are going through on a day to day basis. 

This is a topic that most people are really struggling with what should be done.  The of supporter for LGBT and the most "traditional" voices see to be equally struggling with this issue........As a parent of a 7 year old boy, I sit back back and try to think of how my wife and I would deal with such a situation......first I will love my child regardless, but it seems to me, that based on the anatomy of the child that all aspects/attempts to "be a boy" should be explored........We say no to our kids all of the time for a wide variety of things...not to be mean, but to protect them and hopefully steer them to make the best choices.........It would seem to me that by the time of Puberty would be when the time to really start evaluating the transgender aspects..............Some kids will "grow out of it" as a phase or will "grow into in"..................It will be interesting to see out this one plays out

Then there were some that were more misguided

I ask again: if we expect all the girls to be comfortable using the girl's room with a boy who identifies as a girl but is still male, why can't we ask Coy to be comfortable using the boy's room? See how that works? Why is the burden on all the girls in the school instead of him/her? 

 Into the complete and utter stupid

What have the school and its employees said except they want no part of this child abuse.

The none of your business raises the issue of "who speaks for the child"

You know of course, before she made herself and Coy an international celebrity, the mother could have simply moved her child to another school, and introduced the child as a girl. Told Coy to use a stall.

But really wears the fun and excitement of all that?

You, no doubt would support the notion if a child believed he could fly like Superman, he shouldn't be told he CAN'T DO SOMETHING. 

and this, which  surprisingly cropped up quite a bit

Maybe we have a mother suffering from Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy.

We don't know about anything except what the mother tells us. 

Our society has become more open and welcoming for LGB adults, laws were changed to allow gays in the military, marriage equality is slowly creeping across the land, and gays and lesbians arent the villains in crime tv shows.  Due to this wonderful new openness, children are coming out to their parents at ever younger ages because they now have a word that describes themselves, and for the most part the children know from the chatter around the house that their parents are ok with gays/lesbians/bi's. 

No, I'm not wearing rose colored glasses, I know that most of the religions world wide really hate LGB and if they could would go all nazi on our asses and "cleanse" the world of our evil.

They scream, and while they all prattle on about "hate the sin, love the sinner" we all know thats a load of shit.  As much as they despise gays and lesbians, they froth at the mouth when mentioning trans folk.  Saying that DNA can not be changed no matter how many surgeries are performed, the "sex" of the person hasn't, can't change.  What I think is interesting is how anti science these types are, until they trot out bits and pieces to "prove" their point.  The yell about mutilating G_d's gift in ways s/he never intended.  Which really is their usual spiel about stuff that scares them about the ever changing, evolving society we live in.

The amount of blame for the parents, but especially the mother was outrageous and uncalled for, but sadly typical of haters and blame whores.  What I did find fascinating was the dichotomy between "he's to young to know who he is" and "he has a penis, and will show it and use it" groups.  On the one hand they are claiming that "he's to young to fully understand himself, which is akin to being an innocent child.  Straight to the olde fear of public restroom rape, from a 6 year old?  Is this wee girl an innocent being led astray by her evil mother, or a possible rapist? 

Personally, I feel that trans folk are the new whipping child of the ultra religious.  Due to including trans rights in bills makes them hard to pass, we are often left out of the safety zone of law.  It was a great day when LGBT were included in the Violence Against Women law.  Here and there sprinkled throughout our country are laws that protect the trans, but many times they end at the city limits or county line.  It will be a equality battle for trans folk, of fighting our way clear of not only legal issues, but the right to not be considered to be mentally ill, and having the medical establishment treat us with respect and compassion.  It will be considerably less in duration due to the increased understanding of trans folk.  Thank you Chaz Bono, Lana Wachowski, and Alexis Arquette, you have stood above the laughter and the crude jokes and I salute you.

                   

Tales of food, of opening the closet door and work

The food thing is a big ginormous pain to live and deal with.  I find things that are dairy free, things that are gluten free, but never both!  Gahh!!  However, I cant remember feeling this good in eons.  Its totally amazing to be on my feet for 5 hours straight, working hard enough to raise a sweat and still having the energy to cook supper and do the washing up afterward.  If I couldnt cook, I'd be in a world of hurt, no lie.  The Japanese breakfast is fantastic!  I have it down to only taking about 10 minutes for a meal that lasts me for hours.

Here is my morning soup recipe.
1 1/4 cup water
2 teaspoons fish sauce
2 teaspoons mirin
1/2 inch wide slice of tofu, sliced in half lengthwise and then cut into squares
2 tablespoons leek or green onion
3 tablespoons veggies, usually 1/3 greens and 2/3 zucchini

Place water and sauce and mirin in pan, add tofu and leek/onion and bring to a boil, add veggies and cook until all is hot and tofu has softened/swelled.  This is great for using up bits of last nights veggies!

The meat is usually left over from the previous night, but I also have thin sliced pork in the freezer for those nights I dont have enough left overs for both lunch and breakfast.  Oh the green sheets is nori.

My lunch that I carry to work is usually 2/3's veggies and 1/3 meat.  If I'm out of japanese sweet potato which is baked and cubed and rolled in sesame seeds, then I make rice balls, dusted with Korean Hot Pepper mix.

Friday night I found some gluten free burger buns and some tater tots and ate like an American on Friday night!  Whoo- hoo!!!  But ya know?  I didnt feel as good as I do when I eat Asian.  Sigh.......

A week or so ago at work one of my coffee shop co-workers was talking about a guy in her church, who is usually ignored due to dressing like a woman.  She kept referring to her as male, so I started questioning her as to how she dressed, after hearing that she wears make-up and dresses, heels, etc I told her she needs to use the feminine pronouns when addressing her.  Libby was happy to hear this, and said, "I feel sorry for him  her I mean, and always smile and make sure I greet her warmly and with kindness."  And natural as all can be, I stuck my hand out and asked her to shake hands and said, "Hello, my name is ___ and I'm a guy who lives inside a girl.  I'm trans."  And she was very open to me and our relationship is unharmed.  Libby and I have gotten fairly close, she is a total sweetheart.

Because it felt right and not forced and the time seemed perfect, I wasnt nervous or worried about it.  And yeah I feel better being able to be an unedited version of me around her. 

The work front has gotten interesting, on several levels.  Two weeks ago I came into circulation to find that I was alone, it felt kinda odd to be there alone, but there was a boatload of materials to discharge ( library speak for checking items in) and got to it.  About an hour later one of the employees came in and worked the other discharge desk and then she was gone, to be replaced later by someone else.  The next day was a repeat of being alone for long stretches, I was ok, and any questioned items I just set off to the side until someone came in that could help me. 

A few days later they taught me how to DLA the book carts, which is a last minute checking to make sure everything actually was discharged.  Cool!  So, now when my bins are empty, a fairly uncommon event, I can go over and DLA the filled carts.  Friday I was shown how to pull books from the stacks (shelves) for holds people have requested, that was nerve wracking but after I get comfortable with the process I'm sure it will be enjoyable as well.  Having a moment to stop moving my "boss" came and in and asked me how things were going.  I told him super, and asked him why I'm in the back alone.  Turns out that I've proven myself to be a good worker and a self starter who doesnt need much supervision.  He also went on to tell me that I'm one of the few volunteers who can do more than one "job" in circulation!  SCORE!!!  He also asked if I could be a floater, meaning that if someone doesnt show up, would I come in?  I said sure! 

This is the discharge computer.  The materials are run over the metal plate my water is sitting in front of, from left to right, and the title of the book pops up on the screen telling you that its checked in.  If someone has requested the book at a branch library or a hold for this library, that wee machine that can barely be seen peeking out spits out a label telling what needs to be done.  The keyboard is for the items that wont check in for some reason, and one has to key the barcode in by hand.  The wall of fun behind the computer are things that have been found in the books. 

Food Follies

TH has been after me to get a physical, and after some whining and whatnot, finally did.  I've suffered from chronic fatigue and muscle pains for a long time.  Also I would have periods of 'brain fog', where it was hard to keep a thought in my head and at its worse would lose the thread of the conversation in the middle of a  sentence. 

Three years ago the acupuncturist thought I might be allergic to eggs, chicken, and dairy.  Dragging my feet, and with a heavy heart I dropped those from my diet, and within a week, began to feel ever so much better!  I cheated here and there, and it wasnt pleasant. 

After loads of blood work, and tons of tests, doc gave me the bad news.......I am allergic to much much more than we had suspected.  I'm gluten intolerant, sigh. 

so, no bread!

no beer! due to the gluten and the brewers yeast.....

no shellfish, and I used to live on shrimp.  Cant afford lobster or crab, but love 'em.

For the last few years I've been eating more and more Asian foods,  especially Thai and Vietnamese, with a smattering of Korean.  It just somehow tasted better to me, and I felt better as well, full of energy rather than feeling heavy and sleepy afterwards, and now I know why, a lack of wheat in most of their cuisines are light in the use of wheat.

I'm spending more time in the kitchen trying to cook my way around all these stupid food allergies.  The one meal that has been a tricky sticking point is breakfast, and have decided to go Japanese for that meal.  Typically they have a bowl of rice, miso soup, a piece of nori and a piece of fish or an egg.  For an egg substitute I slow fry soft tofu in butter with salt and pepper, the texture is right and so far butter doesnt seem to be an issue.  I've made a fish soup for breakfast as well with thick chewy rice noodles, and lots of green veggies.

Gluten free cookbooks arent that much help, as they lean heavily upon dairy and eggs.  I've checked out a gluten free vegan book, and some cookbooks from India, due to the worry that non-stop Asian food will become boring and feel limited.

The cool thing though is I'm remarkably thinner already after just a week, and I cant remember the last time I felt this good.  So, who knows, maybe I'll learn to not miss beer, pizza or toast?

Biki Quixote

On January 10, 2013 George, my Chevy Sonic, had been mine for 90 days.  Yup, thats right, 90 long days.  Now George has been feeling a bit self conscience of late.  Why is he feeling this way?  Because he is still wearing his temporary paper plates.   

Here's the deal, George was bought in Arizona, but an Alaskan bank paid for him.  Understandably they wanted him licensed in Alaska, ok no worries as I plan to live there part time.  A month passed and no plates, I called TH and asked him shouldn't I have received them yet?  TH thought it was to early yet.  The next month TH and I again have this conversation, and it was shoved to the back burner.  December rolls around and now TH is getting worried as well, so he heads off to the bank to see what the story is.  He is told quite rudely that they have no control over the DMV and the loan manager gets up, opens the door and ushers him out.  Needless to say, TH is thundering mad. 


A few days later, I receive a call from the bank demanding that I send them the original paperwork.  A quick back and forth with the person on the phone, didnt illuminate what was the originals they wanted.  In a huff the lady hung up on me!  Now tis my turn to be incandescently furious.

TH and I devised a battle plan, he would go in each week and talk to someone at the bank, and I would call and hopefully we could get some "movement" on this constipated issue.  This continues, until I am about ready to fly up there and way waste to this bank!  I make a call, and am NOT friendly, not rude, but very cold to her.  She did some computer researching and found that they didnt have the title and thats the hold up, but that they were going to send for it.  Sigh....this didnt occur to them before this?  Really?

Today I head over to the dealership where George lived, and talked to a very nice lady in the titling section,  Lucy, and due to her hard work, discovered the hold up.  Arizona's DMV is all digital, and Alaska is still using paper titles.  The title company assured Lucy that they transmitted the title to the bank, had the proper name and address, I totally believe them.  They finally requested a paper title the 24th of January!!!  Ok, ok, ok..... is it possible to renew my temporary plates?  No, due to the fact it's being titled outside the state, they cant renew them.

I head home, wait for the bank to open and called the bank asking for the title department, and was shunted to the menu to retrieve a balance enquiry!!!  Angrily I hang up and this time when I get the same stupid twit, I ask to speak to the bank manager.  He did some digging around, agreed that I had every reason to be upset, and is sending me temporary plates Fedex. 

Finally there is an end in sight for my quest for license plates!