Of Tonka Trucks and Dolls

By this late date, everyone and their dog knows who wee sweet Coy Mathis is, and the struggle her family is in with their school board over allowing her to use the correct restroom at school.  I've been reading, reading, reading the comments posted after the stories, and it would be nice to say that I'm  surprised by the hate pouring out over this issue, sadly however there is no surprise at the depths of hate and ignorance on display.

Yes, I know for those lucky humans whose genitalia and gender match, transgender its a hard concept to grasp, adding to this swirl of confusion is Coy's age.  Unfortunately most humans dont remember being 6, and just how much children this age understand about themselves.  Stir into this mix ignorance of gestational science, and a forest fire erupts.  Building an entire new being from scratch isn't the easiest task, and it does go awry.  About 2,000 babies a year are born with indeterminate genitalia, until quite recently these children were operated on with days of their birth to "normalize" their genitalia, which is thankfully no longer the rule.  I have felt that being transgender/transsexual is a birth defect and should be added to the category intersex.  We aren't crazy and shouldn't be listed at all in the DSM, but should be listed in the medical manuals.

Here are a few of the comments that grabbed my attention....


This commenter wasn't being mean, simply does not understand what the family, nor the child are going through on a day to day basis. 

This is a topic that most people are really struggling with what should be done.  The of supporter for LGBT and the most "traditional" voices see to be equally struggling with this issue........As a parent of a 7 year old boy, I sit back back and try to think of how my wife and I would deal with such a situation......first I will love my child regardless, but it seems to me, that based on the anatomy of the child that all aspects/attempts to "be a boy" should be explored........We say no to our kids all of the time for a wide variety of things...not to be mean, but to protect them and hopefully steer them to make the best choices.........It would seem to me that by the time of Puberty would be when the time to really start evaluating the transgender aspects..............Some kids will "grow out of it" as a phase or will "grow into in"..................It will be interesting to see out this one plays out

Then there were some that were more misguided

I ask again: if we expect all the girls to be comfortable using the girl's room with a boy who identifies as a girl but is still male, why can't we ask Coy to be comfortable using the boy's room? See how that works? Why is the burden on all the girls in the school instead of him/her? 

 Into the complete and utter stupid

What have the school and its employees said except they want no part of this child abuse.

The none of your business raises the issue of "who speaks for the child"

You know of course, before she made herself and Coy an international celebrity, the mother could have simply moved her child to another school, and introduced the child as a girl. Told Coy to use a stall.

But really wears the fun and excitement of all that?

You, no doubt would support the notion if a child believed he could fly like Superman, he shouldn't be told he CAN'T DO SOMETHING. 

and this, which  surprisingly cropped up quite a bit

Maybe we have a mother suffering from Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy.

We don't know about anything except what the mother tells us. 

Our society has become more open and welcoming for LGB adults, laws were changed to allow gays in the military, marriage equality is slowly creeping across the land, and gays and lesbians arent the villains in crime tv shows.  Due to this wonderful new openness, children are coming out to their parents at ever younger ages because they now have a word that describes themselves, and for the most part the children know from the chatter around the house that their parents are ok with gays/lesbians/bi's. 

No, I'm not wearing rose colored glasses, I know that most of the religions world wide really hate LGB and if they could would go all nazi on our asses and "cleanse" the world of our evil.

They scream, and while they all prattle on about "hate the sin, love the sinner" we all know thats a load of shit.  As much as they despise gays and lesbians, they froth at the mouth when mentioning trans folk.  Saying that DNA can not be changed no matter how many surgeries are performed, the "sex" of the person hasn't, can't change.  What I think is interesting is how anti science these types are, until they trot out bits and pieces to "prove" their point.  The yell about mutilating G_d's gift in ways s/he never intended.  Which really is their usual spiel about stuff that scares them about the ever changing, evolving society we live in.

The amount of blame for the parents, but especially the mother was outrageous and uncalled for, but sadly typical of haters and blame whores.  What I did find fascinating was the dichotomy between "he's to young to know who he is" and "he has a penis, and will show it and use it" groups.  On the one hand they are claiming that "he's to young to fully understand himself, which is akin to being an innocent child.  Straight to the olde fear of public restroom rape, from a 6 year old?  Is this wee girl an innocent being led astray by her evil mother, or a possible rapist? 

Personally, I feel that trans folk are the new whipping child of the ultra religious.  Due to including trans rights in bills makes them hard to pass, we are often left out of the safety zone of law.  It was a great day when LGBT were included in the Violence Against Women law.  Here and there sprinkled throughout our country are laws that protect the trans, but many times they end at the city limits or county line.  It will be a equality battle for trans folk, of fighting our way clear of not only legal issues, but the right to not be considered to be mentally ill, and having the medical establishment treat us with respect and compassion.  It will be considerably less in duration due to the increased understanding of trans folk.  Thank you Chaz Bono, Lana Wachowski, and Alexis Arquette, you have stood above the laughter and the crude jokes and I salute you.