Cement shoes

I'm just about used up.  Nothing left.  Empty.

T.H. is being a total ass.  If he whines one more fucking time about how hard this is for him, I swear to god I'll walk away for good.  All I hear from him is, "Boo hoo!  You're going to leave me!  I'm so upset and depressed."

Like what the fuck does he think I am?  Giddy with delight?  Overflowing with happiness?  I've gotten to the point where I can't hardly leave the house for fear of breaking down in public.  And when I do have to go out, I'm frozen afraid that any emotion will cause me to crack open and tears to pour out of me.

All during all of this, I'm still playing the part of Happy Homemaker.  Making his lunches, cooking his suppers, laundry, dishes, bills, etc........  One day when it was just all to much and he had to go and pick up stuff for both his supper and lunch (he works nights so much carry a lunch) he acted all put upon.

    I wanted to do 5 on the fifth.  The theme was "on the road"  and my mind filled in "to destruction".  And planned pics of a handgun, beer, a syringe, a rope, and a bridge.........My thoughts are getting darker, as I sink ever deeper into depression.