A "dear" friend of mine sent me an email saying he had killed himself. Which should be a time for grieving and sadness.
But his passing is tainted by the reason he killed himself.
Because the FBI showed up on his doorstep and took his computer and bags of evidence for child pornography.
Leaving me with a jumbled mind.
How can I mourn someone that I actually didn't know?
Should I even mourn someone who obviously was guilty, or he wouldn't have pulled the life plug?
I know quite a few people who were molested as children, and know how hard it was for them to put their life and self back together. I HATE molesters!!!
but he was a friend, yeah?
and round and round and round my thoughts go, with no way to solve this dilemma between friendship and disgust. knowing he will never again leave me an email, and feeling grief at losing his friendship. but hating who he truly was.