World AIDS Day

Today over at Joemygod's blog, I had a very interesting conversation and thought I'd share it here.

Jim: "Perhaps my biggest disappointment with gay culture is how many men have continued to play Russian roulette with their health despite the virtual fool-proof insurance of simply using a condom. I haven't had "unprotected sex" in almost there decades but frankly couldn't imagine a more fantastic carnal history. And it's included a lot of positive men - the same ones so many others want nothing to do with once they turn positive. In fact I'm turned-off by anyone who demonstrates such open contempt for themselves and their partners by not using a condom. They can otherwise be the hottest conquest I've ever contemplated, but if they want to sell me some BS about how I should take their calculated risk... forget it. Because just like someone who wasn't wearing a seat belt when they had a life-changing car accident, I've never met a HIV positive man who thinks the partner who gave him HIV was somehow worth it in the end. (pun intended) There are plenty of incredible men who hold themselves - and YOU - in higher regard. The rest are selling themselves - and YOU - something so much less. Get with the program already."

Biki: "Wonderful! You hit the nail on the head, perfectly. I often wonder if some of the refusal to use condoms is having to grow up hidden and believing there is something wrong and vile about being lgbt? If we can ever normalize sex across the board as an act that as innate as breathing and as important, no matter what gender(s) your partner(s) are, then maybe at that time we will learn to care more about ourselves and others?"

Jim: "You bet I think it's a manifestation of self loathing, and/or a belief their life won't be worth much when they get older anyway. Why else would someone live like they're that worthless. It's acting-out exactly what the haters and homophobes have been selling all along. Now that I'm past my 50s, I realize more than ever how much my healthy survival is perhaps the wisest personal decision I've ever made, and the greatest triumph against those who'd rather see me sick or dead. And all I had to do was follow a simple protocol that took NOTHING of any real consequence away from an amazingly rich and fulfilling sex life - that continues today. Don't buy into the hate. Take care of yourself. You really ARE worth it after all."

If I had unlimited funds I would blanket this country with bill boards quoting Jim's words.


Don't buy into the hate. Take care of yourself. You really ARE worth it after all.


Words I think we all need to embed deeply within ourselves and believe.   It doesn't matter if we are LGBT or straight, which gender if any, skin color,  or if we are gifted or disabled.  We are all worth it.
All of us.