Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The long and winding road

Thursday night TH (the husband), and if you are wondering, I do call him that in real life, something that New Leaf got a huge kick out of, asked what we had planned for Friday.  Planned?  Me?  I rarely, if ever intentionally plan anything, as I enjoy just taking each day as it comes.  But I married a type A, Class 1, Gold Star plated planner.  At times, I actually think he would be happiest if everyday for the rest of his hopefully long long life was planned out, and marked down in some giant tome.

It turned out that TH had the itch to go....someplace.  He wanted to go to Tok, its a nice long drive, read about 5 hours or more one way.  Never having been to Tok before, I wanted to wait until summer, more daylight ya know?  After kicking places around for a while, we decided to head up the Steese, to at the very least Central.   Friday we were up and out of the house before daylight, now before any of you get all excited that vampire me, was up at a ridiculous time, we left the house at 9 am.  The sun came up, well UP is a relative term in the winter, as the sun has a low horizon in the winter.  So, as we wove between mountains we were alternately bathed in sunlight, and then around the next corner doused in twilight.

I had packed sandwiches and drinks into our cooler, added a roll of t.p. and headed out.  We ended up at Circle City.

And while I know its hard to believe, while in the one store in Circle, asking to use their restroom, found out that the owners and TH had friends in common!  Yeah, thats what's it like traveling around with TH.  The kids and I all swear that if he has enough time when he meets a fellow Alaskan, he will somehow have some connection with them, especially with long time Alaskans, sourdoughs if you will.  The bathroom turned out to be in the "washateria" across the street, which is very common in small Alaskan communities.  It had 3 washers, 4 driers, and two bathrooms complete with showers with coin operated hot water.  Many Alaskans live without running water, and depend upon washateria's for clean water both for bathing and for hauling home for cooking and drinking.

For whatever reason, I love caribou, and yeah they are mightily fine eating as well.  My eyes were peeled hoping to see some along the way, and luck was with us, as we most likely saw close to 100!  

It was nice chatting along, enjoying the rare sunlight, the companionship, and doing some decision making about what we have planned for the coming year, I told you he loves to have life planned out!

We talked about his fears about me attending the conference in Boston, he was sure I would come home ready to begin the transition process as soon as Son  #3's wedding is over.  My ability to keep my girl suit, he has grave doubts and doesn't trust me to keep my promise, his lack of confidence in me has thrown me into a spiral of depression again.  Leaving me once again to find my way back out of this dark place.  But, I've done it before, and I'll do it again.  When I asked a good friend a while back, how he manages to stay mortal, he answered, "Sheer bloody mindedness".  I liked his answer and have stolen that idea from him, it's just one more twisting turn on my long and winding road.  


  1. Looks like a great trip, sounds like a great time with TH. Your pictures remind me of why I need to make it to Alaska before I kick the bucket.
    Peace <3

  2. You sure picked a beautiful day for a fabulous trip. It's always nice to do something breaking the monotony. Lovely pictures (minus all the snow LOL), thanks for sharing!


  3. Beautiful photos. Beautiful scenery.

    Can you call TH's doubts about your ability to keep your girl suit a lack of trust, or would it rather be a fear of the unknown. Perhaps he hopes for the best, but plans for the worst. Maybe he's just trying to prepare himself, should that be the path that is taken. Not that I doubt your commitment to TH, I don't. And I'm sure he is certainly familiar with your ability to keep your word. But sometimes fear gets the best of us.

    Thanks for plugging my blog!!! :)


  4. The best thing is how you are both open about your doubts and fears now. And doing stuff like that together.

  5. You could also read TH's comments as encouragement for you and admitting that perhaps beginning the transitioning process sooner rather than later is what he thinks you want to do.

    He will presumably need his hand holding the whole way if you wish to take him there with you, which is what you've always talked about.

    It may not look it from where you are but TH could be giving the impression of being pretty brave about things just now and simply wanting to recognise the inevitable - although that doesn't stop him wishing to hell that it wasn't happening at all!

    Maybe he loves you dearly - while planning for the future, of course.

  6. Beautiful though Alaska is, you constantly reinforce in my the reason(s) why I'll never live in a place like Alaska, haha.

    "Sheer bloody mindedness," I like that. :-)