Well, quite a lot has happened since I last posted. And it has all been good, well there is a new development that is weird and yet very amusing to me......
A few days after my last post, and yeah that's as close as I can get reckoning time is something that is a total fail for me, I was sitting on the sofa playing pokemon. Yes, I'm still addicted to it..... Anyway, TH was sitting at the table reading a magazine when this conversation took place.
TH: Hey dearest? I wanna talk to you about something. I'm sorry, if it wasn't for me and the boys you could have the surgery and live as a guy. I feel really badly that once again I'm keeping you from what you want.
At this point you could have knocked me over with a breath! To say I was shocked and surprised is way to tame for the way I was thinking.
me: It's not your fault. You married a girl and expected that wouldn't change.
TH: Yeah. But it's still not fair for you.
me: It's ok. I knew that there was no way for me to transition, and still keep my life intact.
TH: So what are you going to do?
me: Umm, I don't know yet.
TH: Well, I do still love you. I'm just not so good at showing it at times.
And since that day, things have been much much easier between us. He hasn't made any wise cracks about what I'm doing or wearing since that day, so maybe we are really over that hump and life can settle down for us both.
I'm so happy that our marriage might come out of this turmoil intact, Y A Y! ! ! ! !
Ok, now on with the weird and funny development.......I keep getting the "look" from women! In fact one lady was flat out flirting with me, and because thats something new for me I didn't notice, TH pointed it out and he found it to be hysterical, and teased me on and off all day about it.
TH: My wife the chick magnet!
Today while on a grocery run, I noticed getting several the "looks" so I guess I now look "butchy" and am attractive to that portion of our society. Hmm, well at least I'm going in the right direction, yeah?
The last few days, for whatever reason, I seem to feel more comfortable in my own skin. I'm still working thru the whole clothing thing, and grooming is a whole different issue. To shave or not? I'm going with yeah because it grosses most people out for women to keep their legs and underarms hairy. But truthfully I would much rather not. But it is shorts season, soo.......
I can't remember being this happy in a really long time. It's nice to finally have some inner peace. I just hope it doesn't evaporate....