Beautiful Seward

Hi all!
 
Went to the dentist today for some gum work, so not very chatty today.  Honestly though, Seward is like this wee little jewel tucked up against mountains and the sea.

This is the view from my hotel room, lovely yeah?

 Hotel lobby.  Love those windows!  Sure wouldnt want to clean 'em.

 Downtown Seward has many "old" buildings.  I say "old" because the town was established in 1903, but for Alaska tis old.  Oh....see the wee little orange car?  Yup!  That's mine.

No, I have no idea what I.O.O.F. stands for, and there wasnt any signage to explain it, sure wish there had of been.....

 I'm not sure if this was a dock that was damaged in the '64 earthquake or not.  I just thought it was picturesque.

 Wee little mussels (?) live between the rails of the dock from above.  Dinner anyone?

 Yeah a hipstamatic pic, couldnt resist.

Kenai Lake on the way out of Seward. 

I promise that I'll get caught up on my comments on everyone's blogs, but am so behind the power curve right now you just wouldn't believe it.  And now, I'm going to go lie down, my mouth is throbbing.  See ya!

The Long and Winding Road

Whew!  I'm back and had a terrific time! Best damned vacation I've had in many a long day.  What made it so good?  Well for starters Newleaf is a great guy, and he has the same talent that I have for making anything, and I do many ANYTHING dirty.  We can double entendre like you wouldnt believe.

Looking over my pictures I took of our trip, I couldnt decide what to post, so many...... Alaska is just to photogenic!  LOL  So, today I'll post pictures of just our trip onboard the Kenai Fjord Tours boat, which left from Seward.  I didnt get pictures of some of the sealife.  Why?  I was to amazed to even remember that I had a camera!  And there were times when it was to far out for my point and shoot to pick up.  I didnt get a picture of the sea otters, porpoises, the humpback whales, or the fin whales.  Yeah, we saw all of those, and more.  And here we go!

 Our ship pulling into the slip.  This ship was very smooth even on choppy water, and amazingly quiet.

 

 Lush islands in Resurrection Bay area. 

Harbor seals at rest. 

Killer whales!!!!  This is the adult male of the pod.  Killer whales stay in the pod they are born into their entire lives.  When different pods meet up the males will go over and mate with a female and then go back to his mother.  This pod was comprised of this whale's mother, his sister, and several of her offspring.  He is the only one that got close to the boat.  His sister had a new baby that was so tiny!  To explain just how big he is, the dorsal fin is 6 feet (1.828 Meters) tall.

Sea Lions.  Yeah, I know they are kinda smallish.  If you click-ity the pic to embiggen it, you can see them better.  Next time I go, I'm going to have a better camera!  But let me tell ya, sea lions STENCH!  Image a combination of wet dog, cat pee and rotted fish.  Whew!  As you see we didnt get all that close either. I cant imagine getting closer to those smelly beasts.  But still it was cool to see them, and hear them vocalize.

As we got closer to Aialik Glacier the more slush was in the ocean.  The temperature dropped several degrees also.

The chunks of ice got bigger as we drew ever nearer Aialik glacier.  Mentions of the Titanic were heard from our fellow passengers.  We could hear them bump against the hull, a few of them caused the boat to slightly shudder. 

 The ice continues to get ever larger! 

 This was a monster iceberg!  We passed several of these, causing the passengers to become eerily silent. 

 Aialik Glacier.  It was huge!  We saw it calve a few times, but alas I didnt have my camera pointed in the right direction.  (wipes tear)  When the ice would hit the water it sounded like gun shots.  None of the pieces that fell were very large, so we didnt get much in the way of ripples.

I moved away from the glacier side of the boat to let more people have picture access.  While standing at the rail, I heard what to me sounded like breakfast time.  Then I realized it was the ice making that sound.  If you look closely you can see the air "boil" out of the ice.  When the snow compresses into ice, the air gets trapped, and when it melts it pops.

If you ever get the chance to visit Alaska, this trip is a must do, no question about it.  The scenery, the sea life, and what made it even better, is the running dialog about what we were looking at from the captain.  They were informative without being the least bit boring.

Gentlemen, Start Your Engines!

Sunday evening Newleaf will be coming into town, for a fun filled week.  Its been cooler and rainy, thank heavens, calming most of the forest fires, and letting the crews get a handle and getting a few of them out.  While we desperately need rain, I'd like a few days of clear skies so we can see the mountians and whatnot without smoke or clouds getting in our way.

Usually whenever we have guests up, they are squired around by TH due to one reason or another.  This is my first time showing someone our lovely state.  I'm excited and hope I do a good job so that Newleaf has a great time.

So until next Sunday I'll be away, see ya all next week!

Bye!

Cowboy up

I'm just going to man up, and wear a dress for both occassions.  And yeah, this time the decision sticks. A friend of mine told me to "cowboy up", and that's what I'm doing.

Also, I want to tell  ya all mega thanks, for reading my whining about the whole stupid clothing thing.  You've heard the last of the clothing issues from me.

and the fork ran away with the spoon

Usually I'm a very decisive person.  When I have a decision to make,  I look at the choices, weigh each option, and then make a decision, done.  I've always been that way.  I may agonize a bit over the choices, like last summer.  The decision that I arrive at might not make me totally happy, however if I feel that to be the best thing to do, that is what I do, end of story.  While my decision to never transition hasn't wavered, it's a continuing source of sadness for me.  Something that I don't see changing, but really I dont see myself happy with either choice that is available to me.

What is driving me nuts is my lack of being able to make a decision and stick to it on what to wear to the wedding. 

A decision is made, a choice is thoroughly thought out and I'm ok with it.  But within days, or at times even hours later the desire to attend in that fades completely away.

Truthfully it's all I can think of.  Day and night, the question floats around in my head.  Options, choices float by, each having a great reason for being there, until I grab one, and then it flares into smoke in my hand, and I'm left with nothing.

Here's my choices as I see them.
1.  I wear a dress and make everyone else happy, but not me.
2.  I wear a dressy trouser outfit, this choice would make me happier, but not 3rd son.
3.  I come as I wish, something rather funky, rather unusual, look like me, but really really stick out like a sore thumb.  And feel awkward all night.

After writing this all out?  I can see what my major malfunction is.  It's who to please, them or me.  I'm tired of submersing my needs and desires for others.  I fear upsetting the family, as I've been tossed away by my birth family, and am really on thin ice as it is with eldest.  I'm tired being discarded by people who claim to love me. 

How weary I am though of never being able please me.  Always having to please others first, or only.  I've been called a "doormat" before by a friend on blogger.  While some of my actions could be seen that way, what I think it all boils down to is the fear of being tossed away.  TH has always been there for me, never wavered in his devotion to me, and before this winter, I thought that my relationship with my sons was secure as well.  If we could pop their females out of the equation then I know where I stand with the boys.  Add them in, and the whole game becomes a wild card, a crap shoot, a step into the unknown, and that's where my fear lies.

I never in my wildest dreams thought any thing in the world would come between myself and eldest.  We were so damned tight.  We were simpatico.  On the same page.  And possibly that could have been Dil's issue with me, she felt threatened by my presence in Eldest's life and I had to be eliminated.

Which leaves me standing at a fork in the road, whom to please?  Them? or  Me? 

5 on the Fifth

Stephen Chapman of the blog, The State Of The Nation UK runs the 5 on the Fifth bloggerthon each month.  

 

Some how, I managed to fall off of his email list again.  Thanks Daniel, for reminding me today is the 5th!

My new game passion, We Rule.  Tis a bit like Sim City, but better.  Much more free form, something I adore.

A New forest fire! If you are curious about just how much of our state is currently ablaze, clickity .  One of the buttons on the site also shows the smoke.

A New-er more improved night sky, due to the forest fires!  At least they are good for something, yeah?  But I would much rather have dull sunsets, thank you very much!

 New baby cucumbers!  Yay!  I do love growing tasty things to eat!

A fresh New hell.  Not only am I expected to wear a dress to the wedding, but now I have to wear one to the bridal shower.  So, am thinking of funking up the bridal shower dress, ya know?  But we shall see.